Inwood Post Office - Chamber of Doom and Confusion

[uSkyscraper]

Short version:

I'm glad someone made this a forum post - it has been bugging me ever since I moved to Inwood.  I'm so furious at this pathetic excuse for a taxpayer-funded service that I've fired off several complaints to the USPS website and tel number.  Surprisingly, they do get through to someone who sends them to the Inwood post office, who then call me to ask why I am complaining and say then of course there is nothing they can do about it.  But I encourage everyone to fill out complaints using this form and keep hammering away until someone higher up notices the problems.  Squeaky wheel gets the oil.

https://hdusps.esecurecare.net/cgi-bin/hdusps.cfg/php/enduser/ask.php?p_sid=A6J3ihrj&xssl=1

Long version:

Here are my specific complaints:

1) The building is decrepit and covered in graffiti.  I understand that USPS chooses not to spend meager funds on renovations and makes do with only a few new interior signs now and then,  That's fine, as it can be managed if the existing finishes are kept clean and signs are replaced and not allowed to clutter.  However, Inwood PO looks like a hurricane hit it.  You wouldn't keep your own house or business this messy.  Give me a couple helping hands and a day or two and I could have the interior of that place looking 1950s-retro fantastic, but no, they just let the interior die slowly.  And there is NO EXCUSE, none whatsoever, for failing to keep the exterior free of graffiti.  Every inch of that building is tagged, even the mailboxes out front.  The employees show no pride and no interest -- they just show up, collect their union check, and go home.  Please explain to me how a bunch of very low-income apartment buildings surrounding the post office can be spotless and regularly painted while the PO looks like the South Bronx circa 1983?  Un-freaking-believable.   A post office in suburban Oklahoma City should not look like the Gap while we suffer this discgrace.  Mail a photo to Obama - we do not deserve to be treated like this.   It is anti-urban discrimination. 

Oh, and the explanation from the PO manager?  "It's not our fault, people keep putting graffiti on the walls."  Yeah, idiot, because they know you don't clean it and it can sit there displaying their tag for 5 years before you eventually paint over it.  Maybe you slept through the 1990s while on break and never heard of "broken windows" theory?

2) There are no automated machines.  Why do post offices elsewhere get fully automated postal service machines while we don't even have a stamp machine anymore?  Are we in Inwood too poor and stupid to operate a computer?  Automated machines would help with the intolerable lines by letting those with simple tasks get them done without tying up staff.

3) The lines are poorly managed.  As noted by others, the queues change regularly and are poorly signed.  The DMV can figure this out years ago  - why can't the USPS?  Organizing lines is not rocket science.

4) The staff are incompetent and management does not care.  For example, three times I have gone to pick up a recent package, patiently presented my slip and ID, and then waited 10-20 minutes while the intelligence-challenged staff searched all over the place for the package.  Inevitably, they would come back to the counter, say they "could not find it, when was it sent again?, really? it's not here"..., and I would then say "isn't that it, right behind you on the shelf, the one with my name and address in giant magic marker letters on it?"  Morons.  Maybe they all need to go the library and learn the Dewey decimal system.  For the love of God, learn how to organize and file the packages so that you can find them after people give you the slip.  Add barcodes, file by street, whatever.  Just fix it!

This is a depression - plenty of people would love to work in that post office if the lazy current employees would like to be relieved of their jobs.  Put some metrics on the service, like tracking the average transaction time, so that the ridiculous wait times can be tracked and then pay bonuses if improved.  Oh, I'm sorry, that violates their work rules, which have no relation to customer service.  Fire them all. 

5) The hours make no sense whatsoever.  This is 2009, and even women tend to, you know, do this thing called "work".  Therefore people are not at home when packages arrive.  Therefore they have to go to the post office to pick up their packages.  Oh, I'm sorry, the post office is only open 8 am until 5 pm?  Guess what, IF I WASN'T AT HOME TO GET THE PACKAGE IT MEANS I AM AT WORK, AND IF I AM AT WORK I CANNOT COME TO YOUR STUPID POST OFFICE BETWEEN 8 AND 5.  If there was any kind of Epsilon-type sub-moron intelligence at the USPS, they would be open from, say, 10 am to 7 pm, thereby providing a chance for people to stop by after work and get their package. 

Oh, what's that you say?  The post offices on the Upper West Side and Morningside Heights are open until 7 pm?  I guess those people have jobs while everyone in Inwood stands around on a corner all day with nothing to do but stop by their post office before 5 pm. 

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It all adds up to geographic discrimination, plain and simple.  Screaming and ranting is the only way we are going to get this fixed, so fire off emails to USPS, contact Manhattan Times, contact the NY Times.  This is not about money, it's about dysfunctional idiocy that is depriving our neighborhood of a service we pay for. 

Let me know when the torch mob is ready to descend on Vermilyea...

[24 yrs in Inwood (aka 18, etc.)]

I bet the post offices on the UWS send a lot of Express Mail (relatively speaking, compared to Inwood) -- so their revenue levels are probably a lot higher than up here and can cover extra hours of service.  Here, they probably send a lot of Parcel Post and foreign letters.

[Inwood Ninja]

Sweet baby jesus... I had to go to the Vermilya Post Office today...
As I approached the building, I caught a whiff of the impending doom and madness that was to come. I open the big wooden door that would perfectly frame a small window for Lurch the doorman to peep through before letting me in.
As soon as I step into this demonic armpit of a post office, right away I notice everybody look towards me the same helpless way the kids in the schoolyard would look at you right before the schoolyard bully was calling you out to kick your a$$...except without the small hint of a facial gesture that gave away the sense of relief that at least it wasn't them.
I take my place among the herd, noticing the rope lines looked like an intestinal tract; appropriate considering I was about to feel like a human turd slowly being processed in Satan's constipated bowels. It wasn't long before the awareness of exactly how slowly the line was crawling began to manifest itself in the usual symptoms I noticed in the others in front of me; the sucking of teeth; the slow shifting of my weight from one leg to another, occasionally breaking the pattern to peep over the side of the line as if though it would speed things up the same way we idiots keep pressing the elevator button over and over; the looking around, sometimes at the other poor suckers, I guess to acknowledge our mutual frustration; the last moment of camaraderie before we would shortly turn against each other as we swear it's the other's fault for making the line longer, thinking their every question to the snail-paced bobble head behind the plexiglass was the most idiotic question in the world. (And it was).
What's that sound? Is that someone doing the last-minute wrapping of their package with packing tape... or is that the sound of my flesh being ripped from my bones to feed the baby dragons that I initially thought were crying babies.
I tried to fiddle with my iPhone in an attempt to distract from the sensation of being slowly eaten by a single fire ant while trapped inside an iron lung, but it was useless. I kept overhearing every single worthless piece of chit chat as it echoed into my flaming brain and began to have an epiphany as I understood exactly where the origins of Postal Rage came from, though that was quickly interrupted by my prayers for a meteor strike or a merciful act of Jihad.
After eons of watching the window monkeys dilly dally with the packages of apparent ghosts (ghosts who apparently were ahead of us in line), I finally saw the shining tip of the final rope column, indicating my turn would soon come... and I could only hope that when I finally got there, the rifleman's aim would catch me right between the eyes to quickly end my misery. But alas, all I got was a crummy receipt for my certified mail.
No surprise appearance from Howie Mandel or Ashton Kutcher; no cash prize or toaster or even a little stale piece of biscocho from a chubby girl in tight pants trying to convince me to eat at their crappy restaurant.
But I finally made it out, with a new found love for email, sunlight even in crappy weather, and an urge to punt babies over Broadway.
That place is absolutely awful.

[FallSky]

Thank you Rich and uSky..

Rich you are such a good story teller and I know the story is absolutly TRUE!!!!!

I tracked down my "regular" postalperson from our special "I am going to to postal and bust up every one of your plastic windows if I don't get some service" post office. He is actually very nice. He told me his name and said if I am expecting a package to call him up at the PO in the early morning and he will make sure he delivers it to me. WOW!

He told me he understands everyones complaints and that the PO up here is understaffed.
I did not push the issue since he was trying to be nice and service oriented.

Now if they would only answer the phone. 

[Bloo Pynt]

...to feel like a human turd slowly being processed in Satan's constipated bowels....

...the sound of my flesh being ripped from my bones to feed the baby dragons that I initially thought were crying babies....

...the sensation of being slowly eaten by a single fire ant while trapped inside an iron lung....

Isn't it worth it to be inspired to come up with imagery like that?   

[zuzu*petals]

Isn't it worth it to be inspired to come up with imagery like that?   

It worked for Dante. 

[skerry]

First, I live in one of those "low-income buildings". Unfortunately this year we have been tagged continually, inside and out. In the fall, the PO removed graffiti weekly, but not anymore. It's now a policing problem. If there is no threat of being caught, there will be new tags. More clean space means more room to tag. 

As for jobs, USPS imposed a hiring freeze in October. Mail volume is down (but new delivery points keep being added) and that makes for cost overruns. Benefit cuts are on the table. To anyone genuinely eager for that 'union check', I'll pass on a tip I received from a postmaster back in the late 90s when asking about employment: deeply rotten management culture.

Rich's description is hilariously accurate. But it's about the same up Kingsbridge. 

PS For those folks who live up on (high-income? ) Isham HIll, do your carriers use hand-carts or vehicles?

[Bloo Pynt]

Hand carts. One guy who delivers packages has a vehicle.

[uSkyscraper]

Skerry, I'm sorry for my choice of words.  I didn't mean to come across as a snob by describing your building as "low-income".  Perhaps I should have said "rent-stabilized".  The point I was trying to convey was that to passerby, your building and its neighbors look to be very well maintained.  Your super does a great job with limited funds  - why can't the post office keep their building clean with all of their resources?   This is basic paint we are talking about here -- USPS doesn't have a maintenance staff? 

By the way, I had emailed a politer version of my rant to the usps.com site last night and Inwood PO called me this morning to apologize and say that they do have a repainting scheduled and are just waiting for "downtown" to approve it, or something like that.  Keep making noise and eventually they will pay attention.

[24 yrs in Inwood (aka 18, etc.)]

Keep in mind that repainting usually requires temperatures above 40 degrees -- not just in the daytime, but also during the hours afterward as the paint dries and cures.  (And, in many cases, the lower the temperature, the longer the drying time.)

[heather]

My neghbour went today and waited over 1 hour on line to pick up a package. I have a PO BOX near my job downtown, it takes me 5 minutes or under to go in and pick up. You would think downtown manhattan would be more of a wait but the people working there are competent.

[Inwood Ninja]

holy crap... I just made my monthly trip to the Post Office... and I was nearly caught...but..I was able to snap a photograph of the inside...so.. for the first time.. here's an inside look..



The guy all the way to the right just realized he got on the Money Order "Only" line.
"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
The two people on top are the Postal Workers chatting about exactly how much the postage is gonna go up. They were actually arguing over a 2¢ difference while the rest of us human slugs were waiting on line.
The guy in the middle looking up is asking for information, and has done his best to be patient while the Window Monkeys figure out the 2¢ deal. He will soon realize that no amount of 'Pffts' and 'Sighsss' and 'Teeth-Suckin' will have any impact on these Postal Gargoyles, as they have become as impervious to criticism and compassion as any other heartless and soulless Dahmeresque beings would be.
That third dude behind him is me realizing I forgot to bring my headphones to kill time while I awaited my turn in the Majestic Hellhole Blender of Turdom.
"AAAAAARRRGHHHH!!"
The guy behind me was smart enough to see what was ahead and tried to sneak out.
The satanic looking monster with the sword is a Satanic Monster with a Sword. He just works there.

Fortunately, I was able to escape since I had long ago sold my soul to the devil, so I was worthless to them, and escaped nearly unscathed except for some Santorum splash marks and the smell of rotten cabbage and sulfur on my clothes.

[Bloo Pynt]

I didn't know you had to strip naked to go in there!   

[newheights]

I went there, saw a line of about 60 people, and ONE window open, and took myself to 145th street, (where my gym is).   there were about 6 people in front of me, and 3 windows available.
heaven.

[CalBear]

Rich, your description and image are hilarious.
Pity there's a solid dose of "it's funny because it's true" going on as well...